FOPs for Newt

I am hereby founding a new political group called FOPs for Newt. The acronym stands for Fat Old Philanderers. Believe me, I am well-qualified to be a member of this group: I have weighed north of 250 pounds for most of my adult life, I am now over 60 years old, and about the philandering, well the less said about that the better, but let’s just say I would not be qualified to cast the first stone.

I am speaking out now because I feel that there is a lot of subtle and (not so subtle) prejudice against Newt because of these three traits that he shares with so many of his would-be constituents. Let’s take these one at a time:

Fat: I don’t exactly know how much Newt weighs but I’m pretty sure it is less than Pres. William Taft who reportedly tipped the scales at over 300 pounds. Does anyone seriously think that in this age of televised political beauty contests, that a fat man (even Chris Christie) could ever again be elected President?

If you read any of the comments posted online after any article about Newt it won’t be very long before the words “fat slob” are flung as if that ended the debate. As a fat slob myself I highly resent that.

As Henry Miller pointed out years ago, fat men may be fat in body but they are usually anything but fat heads. As he observed in his novel Sexus (don’t even go there!), “Fat men were often most dynamic, most engaging, most charming and seductive. Their laziness and slovenliness were deceptive. In the brain they often carried a diamond.”

Any fair observer of this year’s Republican debates must have come to the same conclusion. Newt mind has run circles around the competition! Do we want a truly smart president or simply one who can look pretty reading a teleprompter?Don’t answer that!

Age: At Age 68, Newt is getting toward the far end of the traditional Presidential range. Of course Ron Paul is 75, but nobody (not even Ron Paul) really believes that he can be elected.

On the other hand, if elected, Newt would be a few months younger than Ronald Reagan was when he won his first term and he didn’t do too badly! It’s also important to remember that improvements in health have extended the lifespan of almost all Americans, so that 70 is looking more and more like the new 60 or less! (BTW over our long history the median age for a first term President at election is about 55. You could look it up!)

As Newt could say in any debate with Pres. Obama, “I’m not going to make an issue of my opponent’s youth and inexperience!”

Philandering: This is a tough one, but I have to say that it is not even clear that Newt meets the strict definition here. According to the free online dictionary,” A Philanderer is one who carries on a sexual affair, especially an extramarital affair, with a woman one cannot or does not intend to marry.” (emphasis added).

According to everything that has been reported, Newt did carry on affairs during his first two marriages, but he ended up marrying both of the women! This is not so much philandering as it is premature serial monogamy.

OK, I admit adulterers are never going to win that argument, but if adultery were a disqualification for high office, our nation would have been much the poorer for it. It is not necessary to pick on recent Democrats by recounting the sleazy sexual habits of President Bill “Alley Cat” Clinton or John “The Fornicator” Kennedy.

We can go all the way back to our Founding Fathers and discover that Ben Franklin and Alexander Hamilton (and maybe even Thomas Jefferson) were not immune from such foibles and they all got their pictures on our currency!

Although, fortunately the press in prior times was more circumspect, it is pretty much accepted that such otherwise great Presidents as FDR and Dwight Eisenhower strayed from the marital bed, although at least Ike had the excuse that there was a war on.

And as for divorce, I thought we laid that one to rest when we elected the Gipper! Case closed!

So, in conclusion, if you don’t like Newt’s ideas or policies then don’t vote for him. But if all you can bring to the conversation is stupid prejudice and a holier then thou attitude than please spare us the hypocrisy!

The FOPs for Newt is not authorized or paid for by any political committee, although I would be happy to accept donations!

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3 responses to “FOPs for Newt

  1. Well said, Corrin! I personally don’t consider any of Newt’s personal foibles a disqualification, but his lack of self-discipline on the campaign trail — and the fact that, rightly or wrongly, the press corps loathes him — makes him a dangerous choice for the Republican nomination, in my book.

    Unrelatedly, is Ron Paul really 75??? Wow, he looks great for 75! It must be all that libertarian clean living (or is that an oxymoron?)…

  2. OK Nick, but do we really want the press picking our candidates? To be hated by the MSM is a badge of honor in my book! And how much of their hatred is based on Fatism, Ageism and moral hypocrisy too?

  3. You’ve gotta give the devil his due. Newt was never caught in the Oval Office with a hottie. He’s a serial marrier that’s all. Adultery is defined as being all grown up.
    He’s portly, not fat. Churchill”esque.”
    He’s lends calm just reminding us he has survived in Washington so long. He stands his ground. He wouldn’t fly down to Venezuela to kiss Chavez.
    Republicans are actually prayerful – strains of “save us from Rommney but deliver us to anybody but” fill the air. And Muslims thought our religion was in decline.
    Honestly, I wish all of the current candidates could be eliminated in New Hampshire at the polls.
    Please SP, don’t get any ideas about jumping in.
    “Thy Third Party Come; Thy Will be Done, On Every Primary Tuesday”

    Old age? Pshaw. There’s strength in numbers after all and face it; most of us are in physical therapy when the rest of the population are sitting around mesmerized by – wait for it – Anderson Cooper. Yep. If you have gray hair, a limp wrist, a rich mother and two shows on TV, you have to be America’s ideal. That’s who should be president.

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